Baby Wren Chapter 2

I've been at a total and complete loss for words twice this week. The first time because I felt like I was losing my entire world and again today because I was told I was told my entire world looked completely healthy & the spots on her brain had totally disappeared. This week has been the biggest roller coaster ride we have ever & hopefully will ever be on. Wren has already done so much for me & made me so much stronger and she hasn't even been born yet. I will always be so thankful to her for making me a better person.

I've constantly read forums on the internet just trying to accept it so I could be stronger for Wren when she got here & I could better enjoy our limited time together. I would always get a strong feeling telling me that she didn't have it. I felt like maybe that feeling was just because I hoped so much that she didn't have it, but it was something much greater than a "gut feeling." It was God.

My appointment today...
Our appointment today was at 4pm and I had never been so nervous in my life. I was essentially going to get the news of whether my sweet baby lives or dies. There's no way you can prepare yourself for that & I hope I never have that feeling again. I waited (so impatiently) for over an hour to be called back. I sat there listening to a girl in the waiting room moan & complain about her pregnancy & how she wanted a girl instead of a boy... instead of being grateful for the sweet life inside of her regardless of gender & thanking God that she is able to feel him move. People take baby kicks & punches for granted, I was living in fear that every kick I felt could be her last.

Finally we were called back and the ultrasound tech started. I couldn't even look at the screen I was so scared for my baby. Will asked if she saw any soft markers & she told him she saw none. The markers that were on her previous ultrasounds were totally gone. I can't find the words to express how I felt when I heard that but it was the best feeling I have ever had. She continued looking for the additional markers on the heart, kidneys, brain, hands, feet, and deformities of the face. She couldn't tell us much but she was clearly confused as to why I was even being seen, there was absolutely nothing wrong with my girl. She took a precious 3d picture of her & said everything looked great. I was in complete shock, the happiest kind of shock imaginable! I have never seen someone so beautiful in my life. A few minutes later the doctor came in & began another ultrasound. He couldn't find any markers either, they are just completely gone. He looked at and listened to her heart & it was perfect. He listened to the blood running through her cord & it was perfect as well. He asked many questions about why we were even there in the first place because he saw absolutely nothing wrong & he said that if Wren had Trisomy13, he would find multiple abnormalities. She's growing like a weed (4 lbs 4 oz) and he said that's right on track, yet another thing that wouldn't happen if Wren had T13. He said because the bloodwork did come back abnormal that he didn't want to say she was 100% fine and didn't have it. He did assure us over & over that labs can be wrong and she can be in that 1%. He said an amniocentesis was our for sure answer & scheduled me for one on Monday morning before they even open so he can get it sent off & get the results back within 2-3 days. He said he will have preliminary results hopefully by Wednesday & he always trusts those. The final results will be sent to him within 10 days but he said they are hardly ever different. He said that there's a 1% chance that it can send me into early labor, which worries me because my Wren takes those 1% chances and runs with them... :-)

Please continue to pray for my baby & more amazing results. The blog has been viewed over 10,000 times & viewed in more than 10 countries. I know my baby is a miracle and I know the power of our prayers has done an amazing thing & will continue to. Thank you all for everyone thought, prayer, call, text, message, comment, and for sharing the blog to get my baby even more prayers. It's the most humbling experience & because of it I will always be a better, stronger person. It felt really, REALLY awesome to tell Wren about how we WILL get to do everything I told her we would do & how much I get to love on her now. She's the strongest girl I know & I'm beyond blessed that I was chosen to be her mommy.

an arrow can only be shot by 

pulling it backward. so when life is dragging you back with difficulties, it means that its going to launch you into something great

For You created my inmost being;
You knit me together in my mothers womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Your works are wonderful i know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from You
When I was made in my secret place,
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed body;
All the days ordained for me were written in Your book
Before one of them came to be